At Home with Lorraine Kelly 2013 - (Page 66)

Happiness is a glass half-empty A regular dose of pessimism might just be what the doctor ordered. Find out why it doesn’t always pay to look on the bright side of life… The study in America involved two groups of managers; one group that was trained in the technique of mental contrasting and another that { { relax Telling yourself you ‘must’ do this or you ‘should’ do that will only lead to guilt and frustration. You’ll just be setting yourself up for major disappointment wasn’t. Two weeks after the trial period, the researchers found that those who had learned the mental contrasting technique had achieved more of their goals than those who hadn’t had the training. The study also discovered that those individuals who were overly optimistic turned out to be counterproductive – they tended to visualise their aims as already achieved but, in fact this gave them a false sense of security as the task had not yet been completed. This recent research backs up results of another study, explained by neuroscientist, Tali Sharot in her book The Optimum Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain (prices vary, Pantheon). Non-depressed people generally have a less accurate and overly optimistic view of their true ability to influence events than those who are suffering with depression. Turning negativity on its head Achieve your goals in life – no matter how big or small – by anticipating the worst straightaway There needs to be a fine line between ‘healthy pessimism’ and downright depression. So how can people know where to draw the line to stay on the positive side of negativity? ‘Anticipating things that might go wrong is actually a positive form of negative thinking. If you’re going to do some public speaking, for example, imagining the obstacles that lie ahead makes you better prepared for them. It’s known as defensive pessimism,’ says Mark Coulson, a psychologist from Middlesex University. And when it comes to achieving what you want out of life, try this tip from Sussex-based psychotherapist, Mark Maitland. ‘If you’ve got an ambition – whether it’s to go jogging three times a week or to set up your own business – don’t tell anyone.’ This is particularly beneficial in the early days of trying to achieve your goal. Mark goes on to add: ‘There’s evidence that if you have an aspiration and you tell people before you’ve set about doing it, their feedback can make you lose your motivation – because you feel like you’ve already done it.’ Psychologist, Gabriele Oettingen, has carried out experiments that support this way of thinking. One study looking at ‘positive fantasies about the future’ found that spending time and energy focusing on how well things could go, reduces most people’s motivation to achieve them. n Words: Jo Willacy | Photograph: Getty Images A re you a glass halffull person or a glass half-empty? Few people would readily admit they’re the latter. After all, you’re always told to think positively and look on the bright side of life – in fact, former Monty Python star, Eric Idle, led an 80,000 strong crowd through a rendition of the infamous song at the 2012 Olympics Closing Ceremony. However, trying to be positive all the time can, ultimately, become draining and hard work. There’s a school of thought that argues – and has been doing so for centuries – that it’s the relentless effort to feel happy and achieve certain goals, that is precisely what makes people miserable. And the constant efforts to ignore the negative – feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, failure and sadness – are actually the exact reasons why you often feel insecure, anxious or unhappy in the first place. That’s why, now, new research suggests that not seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses is, in fact, better for you and future successes. Just how has this sea-change come about? Researchers at New York University have been looking into a strategy called ‘mental contrasting’ which involves thinking about the joy and pleasure you feel in achieving your goals but at the same time considering any hurdles you might have to encounter on the way. In other words, it could be argued, a healthy dose of realism. 066 | MARCH 2013 72-73 Glass half empty FINAL.indd 66 31/1/13 18:52:47

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of At Home with Lorraine Kelly 2013

EDITOR'S LETTER
LORRAINE KELLY UPDATE
NEWS UPFRONT
SAVE THE DATE
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
BEAUTIES IN BLUE
LIGHTEN UP
BAGS OF STYLE
BUCKLE UP
IT'S A WRAP
IF THE SHOE FITS
SETTING TRENDS
THE BIG REVEAL
GET THE LOOK
LONG REIGN LORRAINE
MOTHER KNOWS BEST
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER
EXPECT THE WORST
UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
WOMEN'S HEALTH A-Z
COULD YOU BE DEPRESSED?
SLEEP EASY
GET BACK TO YOURSELF
WHAT A PAIN
LISTEN UP
CHINESE CUISINE
A TASTE OF ITALY
SNACK TIME
DRINK IT UP
EXCUSES, EXCUSES
EXERCISE'S NEW GROOVE
SPRING INTO SHAPE
OUT AND ABOUT
BEAUTY BLOOPERS
CROWNING GLORY
MAGIC MAKEOVERS
I LOVE MY NEW BODY'
FLASH A SMILE
YOUNG AT HEART
SAFELY DOES IT
LOOK AFTER THE PENNIES
THE GOOD LIFE
ROOM REVAMP
CLEAN UP YOUR ACT
WHAT A BLINDER!
TAKE TO THE FLOOR
HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?
OFF THE BEATEN TRACK
THE EMERALD ISLE
SPRING BREAKS
REST AND RELAXATION
ANIMAL ACCESSORIES
A MAN'S BEST FRIEND
BEASTLY BEHAVIOUR
STYLE SAVVY
TV FAVES
LAST WORD
STOCKISTS
CRAFT NEWS
WE LOVE BEING CRAFTY!'
HOME SPUN
FRAME WORK
MAKE THE CUT
CLEVER CARDS
KNIT ONE...
SPARKLE!
KITTED OUT
THE ICING ON THE CAKE
HELLO CUPCAKE
LORRAINE'S ROAD TO SUCCESS
THE WORLD OF WORK
AN AGE OLD PROFESSION
THE ONLY WAY IS UP
JUST THE JOB
MOVE OVER, MISTER!
BEYOND THE SHOP FLOOR
THE BANK JOB
ARE YOU COVERED?
CAREFULLY DOES IT
EQUAL RIGHTS
BALANCING ACT

At Home with Lorraine Kelly 2013