AT Home with Lorraine Kelly - June 2011 - (Page 98)

| RELATIONSHIPS| Trouble in paradise? Make sure you’re armed with the facts before you end your marriage When a marriage irretrievably breaks down, you can petition for divorce for one of ve reasons ● Adultery. ● Unreasonable behaviour (also referred to as irreconcilable di erences). ● Desertion for two years. ● Separation for two years (this has to be with your spouse’s consent). ● Separation for ve years (in this case, no consent is needed). CERTIFICATE: A decree nisi is pronounced when the court is satis ed the grounds for divorce have been established. Six weeks and a day later, a decree absolute, which is irrevocable, may be applied for. COST: The average cost of an undefended divorce is £900, if you instruct a solicitor to act for you, and the proceedings take at least four to six months. What you once shared is left behind, and it’s time to move on HOW DOES DIVORCE WORK? For more information on how to make divorce work for you, visit ‘Leaving the man I’d been with for 27 years was upsetting and liberating’ Maggie Wakeford, 66, lives in Wales and is a mother to two grown-up daughters DIVORCE IN YOUR 60S ‘I met my first husband in the mid-sixties and we married in 1969. I was hopeful for my marriage and in a few years we had two daughters. However, even when the girls were small, I had to do everything around the house, despite working full time as a teacher. My husband would often cook, but housework, gardening, decorating, driving and childcare fell to me. I felt like a workhorse. I did it all happily but my husband never showed his appreciation. There was no romance – vital to keep a relationship alive – and though he often told me he loved me, I didn’t feel it. ‘I repressed my resentment. I didn’t want my children to see arguments, as I’d done when I was growing up, and they had a happy childhood. But I grew more and more miserable, and it affected the intimacy in our marriage. ‘I stayed because I thought my daughters needed a father, and only left in 1996 when the girls were 16 and 19, and I knew they would understand. I regret leaving it so long – I’m now aware that children accept separation much better when they are young. My husband didn’t want me to go, and even asked if we could stay together but lead separate lives. I had made my mind up, though. I received an inheritance enabling me to take out a mortgage on a new home. I didn’t ask for a divorce straight away because I wanted, for the sake of the girls, to keep things civilised – for a long time we all had Sunday lunch together. I worked hard not to become bitter towards him. ‘Leaving the man I’d been with for 27 years was both upsetting and liberating. I knew I’d done the right thing, but it was still hard and I often felt lonely. However, it was better than being in an unhappy marriage and I had the support of my two wonderful daughters, friends and colleagues. After a few years, I decided I’d like to meet someone, and tried an agency, where I met my present husband, ten years ago. ‘I was still legally married to my first husband for the first few years of my new relationship, and in 2005 we finally divorced. For me it was not a celebration but a time of sadness for a failed marriage. Despite my relief, I cried all the way from the solicitor’s office carrying the papers to the court. ‘Four years ago, I married my agency date, so I’ve had a happy ending. But, I should have left my marriage sooner, the girls could have had their father in their lives even if we’d separated. I wish I’d known that then – I could have saved years of unhappiness.’ ✱ JUNE 2011 | 097

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of AT Home with Lorraine Kelly - June 2011

Editor’s letter
Hello from Lorraine
Notebook news
Update your calendar
Mum’s the word
In the shade
Beach baggage
Pick a straw
Foot fever
Be bold
Beach chic
Vintage veterans
Celebrity style
Up close and personal
Steal Lorraine's style
Lorraine and friends
Happy hiker
Birth order
Going the distance
Intimacy in numbers
Tales of triumph
Breaking up
Splits in the spotlight
Skill savvy
Bucket list
Serious saving
Big days
Notorious nuptials
In the know
Treat your feet
Drink up
Time of the month
Conception made clear
Manage your menopause
The big C
Battling the blues
Skinny stars
Health hotlist
The new atkins
Sumptuous Summer
Stop fussing
Gym bunny
Hot to trot
Crystal clear
Stop the clock
Dimple doom
Forever young
Make-up made easy
Polish perfect
Luscious locks
Fix it
Dental dos
Banish that blemish
Shopping for baby
Size 20 at seven
Indian spice
Exotic Indonesia
Lone traveller
Offshore weddings
Summer makeover
Room revamp
Keep cosy
Feeling board?
Coming soon
Craft savvy
Guilty pleasure
Rock that frock
Book corner
Final countdown
TRAVEL - Celeb campers
TRAVEL - Camp it up
TRAVEL - We love it
TRAVEL - Little britain
TRAVEL - Holiday lodges
TRAVEL - Quirky places to stay
TRAVEL - Transport yourself
TRAVEL - Best days out
TRAVEL - A brit special
PETS - Star pooches
PETS - Pet products
PETS - Make the right choice
PETS - Caring for your animal
PETS - Feeding time
PETS - When pets get poorly
PETS - time to shift some weight
PETS - Me and my beloved pet
PETS - Animal rescue
PETS - What a picture!
CAREERS - Lorraine's career path
CAREERS - Beauty and brains
CAREERS - C'est chic
CAREERS - Girls at work
CAREERS - Just the job!
CAREERS - Go out and get it
CAREERS - Pick and choose

AT Home with Lorraine Kelly - June 2011