Outsource Magazine Issue 34 - (Page 113)
THE BACK END INSIDE SOURCE
Going where even the boldest won't...
A Very Messy Deal
WARNING: Those of you
of a sensitive disposition,
who have an aversion to
matters scatological and/or
downright repugnant, or who
are perhaps eating breakfast
whilst devouring your favourite
outsourcing publication,
may want to skip this page
altogether. For the rest of you,
prepare yourselves for one
of the foulest - yet perhaps
most inspirational - tales ever
to grace this esteemed (many
thanks - Ed.) organ...
We lay our scene on the sales
floor of a software company,
long enough ago that several
of those present may well have
moved jobs but recently enough
for the memory to remain as
fresh (perhaps that isn't the
most appropriate term) as the
morning dew (that DEFINITELY
isn't). Said sales floor is of the
open-plan variety, and at one
end is sitting the eminent CEO
of the company in question, lord
of all he surveys...
While his staff beaver away at
bread-and-butter work, our hero
is in the midst of an endeavour
of an altogether more ambitious
nature: to be precise, a deal
worth a very tasty $21 million
- a transformative amount for
a company of this size, and
everyone in the room has at
least one ear pointed towards
the hot seat as the boss picks up
the phone for the climactic call.
This is it. This. Is. The. Big. One.
As soon as the conversation
begins it's clear that this is no
open-and-shut situation: both
sides are playing hardball and
any hope of a speedy resolution
is extinguished as the leading
man gets bogged down in
negotiations of the very trickiest
type. The tension - already high
- begins to mount: at any point
the putative buyer at the other
end of the line could slam the
phone down and multi-milliondollar dreams could be snuffed
out, replaced by the flatline tone
of a disconnected call. Will he?
Won't he? Can he?
For the CEO himself, however,
there is another problem...
For as the seconds turn into
minutes, and the minutes turn
into quarters of hours, he starts
to experience an increasing
degree of gastric discomfort.
Trying to deploy all his
formidable deal-making skills, to
focus many years of experience
into one all-or-nothing call, he's
also wrestling with a different
call: that of nature...
Despite those years of
experience he has allowed
himself to go into this make-orbreak call without unburdening
himself of several hefty meals.
And now, at the moment of
crisis, another crisis rears its
head. Desperately he struggles
against his own body, wild-eyed
as he attempts to concentrate
on the deal. He simply can't
afford to end the call, even for
a few minutes. And why did
he call from his landline? The
gods... Let this one slip through
his fingers and he may never
recover. And yet, and yet... He
really... needs.. to... go...
And then he goes. Nearly an
hour into the call, and before
his entire team, his bowels win
the argument. Straight into his
pants.
And yet the call goes on...
Half an hour later:
redemption. His opponent
breaks. The deal is done. Our
CEO replaces the phone. The
room is silent, the staff struck
dumb. And as they watch,
in horrified awe, with infinite
majesty our hero stands up.
He points to the phone. Says,
"That's a $21 million deal. And
that" - as he points at the seat of
his pants - "is commitment."
Sir, we salute you. From a
distance.
"Why is it that people who can't take advice always insist on giving it?" - James Bond (Daniel Craig)
www.outsourcemagazine.co.uk
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Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Outsource Magazine Issue 34
Challenges and Champions
Outsourcing in a Troubled Economic Environment
Richard Jones
High Stakes
In Transition
The Bigger Picture
Numbers, Numbers Everywhere...
NOA Round-Up
Struggling To Get Through?
International Commercial Disputes In Outsourcing Agreements
Is Infrastructure Necessary?
Global Freelance Platforms Grow Up
Trumping Price – Only with Best value
Kerry Hallard
Technology Investment in 2014
Water Will Always Find A Way
The Right Time Is Now
You, Robot?
The Legal View
Top Ten
NelsonHall Round-Up
Online Round-Up
The Deal Doctor
Inside Source
The Last Word
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