BalanceSeptember2016 - 21
HE SAYS
Inside Martin's mind
Given the chance, what advice would you give to your younger
self? Martin Daubney finally knows what life is about
photography by
WILL IREL AND
L
ast week, I was driving back
through France after a glorious
family holiday when I suddenly
realised that, 25 years earlier, I had
ridden a motorbike in the opposite direction
on the very same road out of Le Mans.
You know the saying 'someone just
walked over my grave'? Well, I got that
shivery feeling - only it felt like I'd just
passed myself on life's great highway.
Back in 1991, I was fresh out of
university and so broke that I had to sleep
rough on the French roadsides and eat
baguettes and cold hot dog sausages.
I remember being constantly gripped
by a terror that everyone else seemed
happier and richer than me, their beautiful
lives sorted. Some things never change.
BACK TO THE FUTURE
I MEAN, WHAT KIND
OF LOSER DRIVES
AN MPV WITH A
ROOF RACK AND
A 'BABY ON BOARD'
WINDOW STICKER?
Then, in a moment of sheer
romantic indulgence, I
wondered what advice
I, as a dad, would give
to that lad. I wanted to
reach out across time
and say: 'Don't worry,
mate - life will work out.
Just give it time. It won't
be perfect, but then
perfect doesn't exist.'
But it's doubtful
that the 21-year-old
biker would have
listened to the
46-year-old dad.
I mean, what kind
of loser drives an
MPV with a roof rack
and a 'baby on board'
window sticker?
So, I'd have started
with: 'You will get your
petrol syphoned off
September 2016 BALANCE
tomorrow night while you lie sleeping on
the beach, but don't worry - you'll make it
home, and look back and laugh.'
EMBRACE TODAY
I'd say: 'Worrying about money will never
go away, but take it from me - money
can't buy happiness. You'll realise that
when you get plenty in your thirties and
find that your life is still empty if there is
no love in your heart.'
I'd tell him: 'Stop being so hard on your
mum. She didn't choose her new man
over you. She just chose a new route to
happiness. You can't choose your family,
but they are the only people who will love
you unconditionally. Just wait and see.'
Above all I'd tell me to stop fretting
about endless tomorrows - just embrace
today. One day, there'll be no tomorrow.
The 21-year-old me thought life would
end if he moved in with a girl, got a
mortgage or had kids. I'd tell him they
are just new chapters. True contentment
happens when you surrender the notion
that life is all about you. But you won't
realise that for another 17 years yet.
NO ONE IS PERFECT
So, to love... I'd say: 'There's no such
thing as a perfect girl and, anyway, you're
hardly perfect yourself. You will travel the
world looking for The One, but she was
just down the road all along.'
I turned to the woman I still haven't made
my wife after 16 years and thought 'it's
time to get married'. Then I looked to the
back seat, where Dolly, two, was dozing,
and smiled at my boy, Sonny, now seven.
The answer to life isn't on a beach in
Thailand, or in a big house, or at the bottom
of a bottle - it's right under your nose.
I can't pass advice on to my younger self,
but I can learn from all my mistakes. B
21
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of BalanceSeptember2016
BalanceSeptember2016 - 1
BalanceSeptember2016 - 2
BalanceSeptember2016 - 3
BalanceSeptember2016 - 4
BalanceSeptember2016 - 5
BalanceSeptember2016 - 6
BalanceSeptember2016 - 7
BalanceSeptember2016 - 8
BalanceSeptember2016 - 9
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