Balance October 2017 - 75

Mas

s

et r c l a s

How to channel
anger for good
with

Try to understand the
other person's viewpoint
and respond with
forgiveness. Forget
taking revenge. Holding
grudges makes you
weaker, not stronger.

Arun Gandhi

A BIT ABOUT ME
I was born in 1934 and grew up in
South Africa at a time when it seemed
everybody hated everybody else
because of the colour of their skin. I
suffered, and was filled with rage, so
when I was 12 my parents sent me to
live with my grandfather, Mahatma
Gandhi, to learn from him. I've since
founded a non-violence institute
in my grandfather's name, and give
many talks trying to help people
gain a better understanding of justice
and conflict resolution.

TIPS FOR
AVOIDING
CONFLICT

SPEAK UP
Don't be afraid to say
when you're unhappy
about a situation.
As my grandfather
said: 'A "no" uttered
from the deepest
conviction is better
than a "yes" merely
uttered to please,
or worse, to avoid
trouble.'

EMPATHISE WITH OTHERS

EXERCISE YOUR THOUGHTS
We do physical exercise because we
desire a strong body but assume the
mind doesn't need strengthening.
However, at any given moment the
mind is filled with dozens of different
thoughts and so is not in our control.
Then, when an incident happens, we
blow up, and often we regret it. My
grandfather taught me to do a mental
exercise every day which helped me
step back and see how each incident
can be best resolved.

PICTURE THIS
Here's a daily technique to strengthen
your mind. Sit quietly in a room for
a few minutes. Find something that

78

CHOOSE
YOUR WORDS
CAREFULLY
gives you pleasure to look at and hold
it in front of you. Focus your mind
on that object for one full minute.
Then close your eyes and see how
long you can keep that image in your
mind's eye. The first time I tried this
as a child, the moment I closed my
eyes, the image vanished. But when I
started doing it every day I found I
could keep that image far longer in
my mind. I was bringing my mind
under my control.

WRITE IT DOWN
Start writing an anger journal. This is
not a way of pouring your anger into
it so every time you go back and read
you're reminded of the incident and
get angry again. Rather, you write
down the incident with the intention
of finding a solution and, in doing so,
find a very different perspective to the
whole thing. I did that for many years
and it helped me considerably.

BA LA N CE October 2017

Always think about
what you say. Will
your words hurt or
help a situation?
Once you find words
that will do good,
speak them loudly.

The Gift of Anger by
Arun Gandhi is
published by Michael
Joseph, price £14.99

SAY THE TRUTH
Because we have an
ego, we sometimes
feed it by telling lies
- and get into more
trouble. We need to
administer our egos.

The outcome

By controlling our minds and learning to use our
anger as a spark for change, we can resolve situations
rather than let them spiral into hate and violence.
Controlling our own anger can prevent fuelling anger
in others, too. And with everything that's going on in
the world today, this lesson is more vital than ever. B

WORDS: LAURA TAIT

My grandfather taught me anger is
good. 'It is an energy that compels
us to define what is right and wrong,'
he told me. But violence is never
the solution. If someone angers us,
we need to find out what caused
that person to do what they did and
what they, or we, could have done
differently. Try to analyse the situation
and come to the right conclusion.
He said anger is like electricity
- powerful and useful if used
intelligently, but deadly and
destructive if abused. In the same
way we channel electric energy
and use it for good, we must learn
to utilise anger in the same way.



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Balance October 2017

Balance October 2017 - 1
Balance October 2017 - 2
Balance October 2017 - 3
Balance October 2017 - 4
Balance October 2017 - 5
Balance October 2017 - 6
Balance October 2017 - 7
Balance October 2017 - 8
Balance October 2017 - 9
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