Balance March Issue 2018 - 60

H E S AY S

NIHAL
Off the record:

Whether we like it or not, the Grim Reaper will one day come for us all. Rather than
fight the inevitable, shouldn't we come to terms with it? asks Nihal Arthanayake
photography by WI LL I REL A ND

WHERE THERE'S A WILL
The problem is that we only start to confront
death when it stares us in the face. Then it is a
rush to come to terms with it, juggling a myriad
of feelings and trying to cope as plans go
unresolved and dreams fade.
The emotional turmoil death brings is
understandable, but we should not compound
that by being totally unprepared for something
we know is going to happen to us all.
Only 35% of Brits have written a will. I'm one
of the majority who haven't. If you're reading
this, and have kids and assets, perhaps it is worth
bringing financial clarity to your life in this way.
Just think how less stressful it will be for those
you leave behind. In the midst of all the sadness,
knowing the deceased's affairs were in order would
certainly be one less thing to worry about.
As well as the practicalities of dealing with
death, there are also the benefits of talking about it
long before we have to face it. Just think how much
more we would make of life if we kept in mind the
preciousness of our daily existence.

60

CEMETERIES FOR THE LIVING
The conversation Greg and I had was p layed out
in front of hundreds of thousands of listeners
and it provoked a huge outpouring of emotions.
One caller stood out. His name was Lupi and
he had sadly lost his wife, mother of their
four young children. He wanted to talk about
cemeteries, or 'burial grounds' as he called them.
He knew how depressing they were as he took his
children to visit their mother's grave.

Shout back
@therealnihal
@BalanceLDN

THERE ARE BENEFITS OF
TALKING ABOUT DEATH
LONG BEFORE WE HAVE
TO CONFRONT IT
He had since decided to give up his job as
a barrister to devote his energies to redesigning
'burial grounds for the living'. A place with a café
and a crèche, where families could visit their
loved ones and be comfortable. He wanted these
places to be more than just a location for the dead.
When asked, 77% of the British public said
they found it difficult to talk about death
so the fact that you've made it this
far is testament to your own
willingness to begin this
conversation. Me? I'm off
to sort that will out. B
Nihal hosts Afternoon
Edition on BBC
Radio 5 Live,
1pm-4pm, Monday
to Thursday,
and the Asian
Network's Big
Debate from
10am-1pm
on Friday.

BA LA N CE March 2018

WORDS: XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX6.5PT/8PT APERCU

D

eath. That's got your attention. But
before you flip the page because it's
the last thing you want to think or talk
about, please indulge me as I invite you to start
discussing your own shuffling off the mortal coil.
Last month I had a fascinating conversation
with actor Greg Wise about dying. He witnessed
his sister die of cancer a year ago and together
they had written a blog as the tumours multiplied
and she deteriorated before his eyes.
The blog eventually became a book called
Not That Kind Of Love, which was published
last month (£16.99, Quercus). Greg wanted to
come on to my BBC Radio 5Live show and
have a conversation about death. It wasn't
that he wanted to wallow in sadness, but
because he believes conversation about death
is an affirmation of life and of love.



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Balance March Issue 2018

Balance March Issue 2018 - 1
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