BalanceAprilIssue2017 - 18

illustration by
SA NDY VAN
H ELDEN
words by
S CA RLET T
RU S S ELL

Relationship status:

Anxiety

How to combat stress, whether you're single or settled

A

nxiety is an epidemic. It affects
one in five of us in the UK
and even the Hollywood elite
- Ryan Reynolds, Emma Stone,
Kendall Jenner are all sufferers. And whether
we're single, in long-term commitment or
are experiencing a break-up, our relationship
status is one of the biggest causes of worry.
'Levels of anxiety have risen because our
pace of life has changed significantly and
we're bombarded with mixed messages and
societal pressures,' says Relate counsellor
Peter Saddington. 'It still falls on women to
"have it all", while single women often have
the added pressure from their own bodies
and society and, in some cases, their families
- saying they need to be settled by a certain age.
'Many men, meanwhile, feel the need to
provide and don't know if opening the door
for a woman on a date is gentlemanly or unfeminist.' Here, experts explain the different
types of relationship anxiety.

18

Anxiety if you're...
If anxiety
is eating
you up, it's
probably
because
you're
jumping to
the worst
conclusion.
Try making
'I don't
know' your
mantra.

In a new relationship
You've finally found someone you're happy
to share a bed and the remote control
with, but you're freaking out. This is
totally normal, by the way. 'Anxiety here
often stems from the struggle of losing
control, being vulnerable and keeping your
independence versus not wanting to be
alone,' says psychologist Dr Max Blumberg.
Fix it: In the early stages of a relationship,
talking about thoughts, feelings and emotions
can be scary, but now more than ever is the
time you should be talking. 'Say to the other
person: "I'm having a wonderful time with
you but I'm feeling really anxious because of
X",' says Dr Blumberg. 'Identify the problem
yourself first otherwise you might scare the
other person off and escalate the conversation
into an unintentional conflict.'

BALAN CE April 2017



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of BalanceAprilIssue2017

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