PSYCH GETTING ALONG WELCOME CONTENTS H O W TO W I N AT Whether you're single, in a longterm relationship or simply looking for things to be better, Paul McKenna is here to help R E L AT I O N S H I P S PAUL MCKENNA A television broadcaster, author, behavioural scientist and hypnotherapist A lot of people think of a relationship as a destination: "I just want to be in a relationship." But what is really happening is that you are constantly in the process of relating to people. And that process of relating is never static. I remember in the 80s I went to an Anita Baker concert and she said, "I'm so happy to be in a relationship - and I work at it every day." I thought, "Work at it every day? I thought a relationship was just bliss!" And of course it isn't. Life has ups and downs. There are dynamics, changes and you're on a journey. How is that journey together? It's hopefully amazing. I've explored relationships in my new book 7 Things That Make Or Break A Relationship and what was a revelation to me was learning how people prefer to think in one of three modalities: 29