athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 149

IT'S A MUM'S LIFE
CHILLING WITH
DAD AT HOME

WHAT THE
EXPERT SAYS
ELAINE HALLIGAN,
LONDON DIRECTOR
OF THE PARENT
PRACTICE (THE
PARENTPRACTICE.
COM), GIVES TIPS ON
KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
ON TRACK AFTER A NEW BABY

THANK
YOU NOTES
Keep a little book on

for us to be together. My work in a busy
London hospital was rather hectic, so it
was good to have Ercan with me.
'I have always worked very hard and
knew once I had my child I would return
to the job somehow as it is too important
for me to give up.
'I knew everything about the stages of
labour and birth, having supported so
many women through it, but nothing
prepared me for my own delivery and
the sense of pure love I felt when I held
Mikail for the first time. I chose to have
my son at a hospital closer to my home
and will never forget the overwhelming
joy I felt, seeing his face for the first time.'

WORDS: SUZANNE BAUM

NAPPING LIKE A BABY
'The early days of being a new mum were
exhausting though, and the lack of sleep
was difficult for both Ercan and I. It
has at times felt like an emotional roller
coaster as we have tried to juggle things
between us on very little sleep.
'I took 10 months of maternity leave
but then decided to go back to work two
nights a week. This meant Ercan could
look after the baby when I worked, so we
could avoid the costs of childcare.
'Ercan works as a barber so the night
shift pattern kind of works, even though
it means I struggle with sleep the
next day and make myself nap when
Mikail does. I liked the fact that I was
able to keep my career going but was
not missing out on motherhood.'

'IT WAS
HARD TO
ADAPT'

your bedside table and
write one thing in it
each evening that you

appreciate about
'Some things
your partner.
have been a
struggle for us and
having a baby has
affected our relationship, as we had less
time together and were almost like ships
passing in the night. Ercan found the role
reversal difficult to adapt to, being sole
carer two nights a week, but as Mikail
gets older, I will probably go back to day
shifts and things will be easier.
'With both of us working it is very
difficult to go out as a couple and it has
been hard to adapt to having no time
alone. However, things are easier now
Mikail sleeps through the night and
we have realised how important it is to
spend time together as a family, even if
it's going to the local park.
'The biggest problem is that I need to
go to sleep early on the days following a
night shift and so I am often asleep and
don't see Ercan until he gets home. It can
be very exhausting, but I feel lucky my
work allows me such flexibility. The fact I
have such a supportive mother and sisters
who live close by is a huge bonus.
'Mikail is a wonderful little boy and I
love being a mum. The fact I can combine
it with a job I enjoy is brilliant and I look
forward to the future, when I can spend
more time having dinner or go out to see
a film with my husband, like we used to.'

Having a baby is like a new
beginning, as relationships are
refreshed, goals set and dreams
created. However, the transition
to parenthood also brings with it
stresses for the couple.
Research shows that after the
birth of a child, many couples can
find the quality of their relationship
suffers. This may compromise
parenting and spoil what should be
joyous parent-infant interaction.
But there are ways you can help
to make sure your relationship
stays on track:
✦ A strong emotional bond
between the parents is not only the
key, but also the best foundation
for a baby's development. The love
you have for your new baby helps
to form such a bond, so plan to
work together and support each
other in your shared goal of looking
after your child
✦ Get in touch with your fun,
playful side and start to wonder
and marvel at the simple things
✦ Don't try to be a Super Woman
Mum. Take your own naps during
the day when your baby is asleep
- the housework can wait
✦ Develop a culture of appreciation
by telling each other regularly what
you appreciate about each other
✦ Sex and intimacy declines - be
aware of this and be patient
✦ Dads sometimes withdraw if
Mum, or the women in Mum's circle,
in being supportive to her, make
him feel not needed. Dads have
a very special role to play with
newborns and are just as capable
of caring for them as mums
✦ Make communication a priority
and set regular date nights once
your baby is in a good bedtime
and feeding routine
✦ Your relationship is likely to
change when your baby arrives.
Don't wait until it is stressful to
take action. Nurture your bond as a
couple before the baby's arrival.

www.athomemagazine.co.uk J UN E 201 7 | 1 4 9


http://www.athomemagazine.co.uk

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017

athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 1
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 2
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 3
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 4
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 5
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 6
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 7
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 8
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 9
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 10
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 11
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 12
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 13
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 14
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 15
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 16
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 17
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 18
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 19
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 20
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 21
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 22
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 23
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 24
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 25
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 26
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 27
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 28
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 29
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 30
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 31
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 32
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 33
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 34
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 35
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 36
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 37
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 38
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 39
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 40
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 41
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 42
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 43
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 44
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 45
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 46
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 47
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 48
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 49
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 50
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 51
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 52
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 53
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 54
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 55
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 56
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 57
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 58
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 59
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 60
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 61
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 62
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 63
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 64
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 65
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 66
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 67
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 68
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 69
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 70
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 71
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 72
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 73
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 74
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 75
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 76
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 77
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 78
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 79
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 80
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 81
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 82
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 83
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 84
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 85
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 86
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 87
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 88
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 89
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 90
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 91
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 92
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 93
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 94
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 95
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 96
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 97
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 98
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 99
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 100
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 101
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 102
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 103
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 104
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 105
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 106
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 107
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 108
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 109
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 110
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 111
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 112
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 113
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 114
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 115
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 116
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 117
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 118
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 119
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 120
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 121
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 122
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 123
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 124
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 125
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 126
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 127
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 128
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 129
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 130
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 131
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 132
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 133
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 134
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 135
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 136
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 137
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 138
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 139
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 140
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 141
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 142
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 143
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 144
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 145
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 146
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 147
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 148
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 149
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 150
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 151
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 152
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 153
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 154
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 155
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 156
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 157
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 158
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 159
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 160
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 161
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 162
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 163
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 164
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 165
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 166
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 167
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 168
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 169
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 170
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 171
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 172
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 173
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 174
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 175
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 176
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 177
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 178
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 179
athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017 - 180
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomewithchrisjessen2018
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomewithsarahbeenyautumn2017
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomewithlorrainekelly2017
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomeparentingwithJoFrost2017
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/SarahBeenySpring2017
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AskTheDoctorWithDrJessenFebruary2017
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithTessDaly2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/Careers/YourBusinessWithJamesCaan2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithGloriaHunnifordOctober2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithSarahBeenyAutumn2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithLorraineKelly2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithJoFrostJune2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithSarahBeenySpring2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeWithDrChristianJessen2016
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AthomeWithTessDaly2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/YourBusinessWithJamesCaanAutumn2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AthomeWithSarahBeeny2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AthomeWithGloriaHunniford2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHomeLorraineKelly2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/JoFrost15
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/SarahBennyMay2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/OrthopaedicSupplementMarch2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/DrChristianJessenFeb2015
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomewithtessdaly
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/jobsandcareers2014
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/yourbusinesswithjamescaan
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/athomewithsarahbeeny
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/parentingjofrost
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/drchristianjessen
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Athomelorrainekelly
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Athomesarahbeeny
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Cheers_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Christmas_New_year_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Exclusive_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Jo_Frost_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Carol_Vorderman_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Christian_Jessen_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Sarah_Beeny_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Lorraine_Kelly_2013
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_James_Martin_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Jo_Frost_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Dr_Chris_Steele_Sept_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Sally_Gunnell_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Sarah_Beeny_Aug_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Lorraine-Kelly_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Christian_Jessen_2012
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_James_Martin_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Sarah_beeny_winter_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Lorraine_Kelly_Nov_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/At_Home_Marco_Pierre_White_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/AtHome/Jo_Frost_July_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Lorraine_Kelly_June_2011/Lorraine_Kelly_June_2011
http://europe.nxtbook.com/emp/AtHome/Sarah_Beeny_May_2011
http://www.nxtbookMEDIA.com