At Home with Carol Vorderman 2013 - (Page 78)

the new flirting if you think you’re too old – or too shy – to flirt, it’s time to get back out there More than words Good flirting has nothing to do with smart pick-up lines or how goodlooking you are, and everything to do with what vibes you send out. According to Jean, that’s mostly about body language, non-verbal 078 | JUNE 2013 communication and a ‘sexual undertone’. ‘Women tend to flirt more subtly than men,’ says Jean. ‘But both genders use the same tools: lingering eye contact, smiles, open body language, standing close together and synchronicity (taking actions at the same time). Research shows that women generally take the initiative in two thirds of encounters. A man may think he’s instigated it, because he physically approaches the woman or says the first words – but more often than not, his actions arise from a woman encouraging him with signals of approachability.’ sMall sIGnals ‘Everyone subconsciously send out gestures that reveal their innermost feelings,’ agrees Tracey Cox, author of Pocket Superflirt (£5.99, Dorling Kindersley). ‘Adjusting your own body language can drastically increase your chances of someone liking or respecting you, often without you saying a word!’ Flirting is also about being able to read other people’s non-verbal cues. ‘If telltale you’ve made lingering eye sIGns contact several times and he’s noticing or recalling small reciprocating your smiles, it’s a details about clear sign he’s interested,’ says you is often a Jean. ‘Once you’re talking, clues sign he likes you that he’s attracted to you include angling his body and feet towards you, and touching your arm or hand.’ Elizabeth Clark, author of Flirting For dummies (£12.99, John Wiley & Sons), says: ‘Another telltale sign is when he puts his thumbs in his pockets with his fingers pointing down. It’s like a neon welcome sign to his flies! And if his body language mirrors yours, such as leaning in when you do, then he’s interested!’ just Go For It What if you’re too shy to flirt with someone you’ve just met? According to experts, you don’t have to feel confident – you just have to look it. ‘Men love self-assured women, so Words: Cath Francis | illustration: Getty Images H ave you recently become single again and are in your 40s, 50s or beyond? If so, the mere thought of re-entering the dating scene can be totally overwhelming. After spending years in a relationship, many people lose confidence in their ability to attract new potential partners. As for flirting, the very suggestion can make them cringe! You may think it is something that just seems to come naturally to others, but not for you. However, according to social and cultural anthropologist Jean Smith, flirting is a skill that can be learned. In fact, Jean runs ‘flirtology’ seminars and ‘flirting tours’ around London, where people learn to send subtle signals to the opposite sex to show that they are open to offers – and learn to read other people’s signals. ‘As with anything, the more you practise flirting, the more proficient you become, until it becomes second nature,’ says Jean. ‘People with good flirting skills know just how to make others feel as if they are the only person on earth – or at least in the room. People want to be around those who make them feel good, and that’s what skilled flirters do.’ rules

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of At Home with Carol Vorderman 2013

Editor's letter
Carol's hello
News
Summer days
Rear of the year
Shades of citrus
Maxi moment
Good for the sole
Razzle dazzle
Swing by the sixties
All shapes and sizes
Steal her look
The swimwear round
A moment with Carol
Beaming with pride
Loose women
Forever friends
What men want
The D word
Fear not
Keep your flirt on
Sex on fire
Culinary classics
Food glorious food
At a pinch
Oiling the meals
Flaming hot
Under the grill
Raise a glass
Water works
Weight-dropping wonders
Tuck in
Home improvements
Holiday hazards
Proceed with caution
Warning signs
Down to the bare bones
Back on track
A sorry sight
20 under £20
How do they do it?
Rewind time
Lacklustre locks?
Pearly brights
Good job hunting
Old timers
The golden years
Cash in a flash
Money guru
Foster the love
Child's play
Easy as 1, 2, 3?
Summertime accessories
Those in glass houses
On the tiles
Home safe home
Savvy traveller
Holiday honcho
Port of call
Here come the girls
It's a numbers game
Book it in
Up, up and away!
Last word

At Home with Carol Vorderman 2013